Chapter Five: Breaking the Mold

Chapter Five: Breaking the Mold

                Michael woke up, still groggy.  He was warm and the sheets on him were soft.  It was dark where he rested.  He tried to sit up to see where he was but something heavy was on him.  He looked down to see Lukas’s head and half his body covering his own.

            “Wha?” he said.

            Lukas looked up at him, “Oh you’ve come to,” he rolled over and slid up in the bed. He had put a white t-shirt on and when Michael looked down, noticed that he wore one too.

            “Please don’t tell me that I passed out.” He said, already knowing the answer.

            “Fine, I will not.”  He had a little bit of a snip in his voice.  “You made me promise to tell you if something was triggering me, but you did not hold up your end of the bargain,” he said, not looking at Michael.

            “I’m sorry, Lukas,” Michael said, ashamed.

            “Why?” Lukas sat up beside Michael.  “Why would you not tell me if I was doing something to cause your panic attack?” Lukas was hurt that he was not trusted by Michael, or so he thought.

            “I didn’t want to stop.”  At that Lukas looked over at him.

            “I told you we would go slowly, did I not?” Lukas said, trying to be mad but failing.

            “Yes you did, but I was being greedy.  I honestly didn’t realize what was happening.  I thought I was just drunk and nervous.  It came as a surprise to me.” Michael said.  “And, I’m so tired…” he flipped the sheet off of him, slamming his hand on the mattress.  “Tired of it always fucking taking control.”  He stood and started pacing.  Lukas had a very simple bedroom, only the bed and a small dresser furnished the large room.  Lukas slid to the edge of the bed, hanging his legs off and his feet touching the floor, but he didn’t get up to comfort Michael.

            “Michael,” he said softly.

            “What?!” Michael turned and looked at him, his frustration getting the better of him.  Lukas didn’t even flinch when being snapped at him.  He simply leaned back on his arms, taking a relaxed position.  “I’m sorry,” Michael said, walking back to Lukas.

            Lukas sat up and wrapped his hands around Michael’s lower back, pulling him close.  Lukas’s legs were on either side of Michael’s and he laid his forehead on Michael’s belly, kissing it and nuzzling it.  “I said we would go slow and I meant it.”

            “I know but—“

            “No.” Lukas said firmly and looked up at Michael.  “You need to go slow and I need to go slow.  This is new territory for both of us.  Even if neither of us had our little problem, this is not going to be easy.”  Michael was shaking.

            “I don’t want to fail,” Michael said softly.  “I have never wanted anything more in my life.  I don’t even know why, but I feel like I need you.  I refuse to allow something someone in my past did prevent me from having you.”

            Lukas wrapped a hand around Michael’s and slid back onto the bed, pulling Michael with him.  “Come here.” He said as Michael crawled back into the bed.  “Let’s just enjoy this moment, right now: this soft warm bed with us both in it.  Let me touch you, kiss you, hold you.”  Michael laid down between Lukas’s legs and laid his head on his chest.  He took a deep breath, taking in his smell.  “Let’s enjoy the journey one step at a time.”  He ran his hands over Michael’s shoulders and upper back.

            “Mmmm, that feels so nice,” Michael said into Lukas.  “You’re right, I know.  But, how are you so calm about this?”

            “Only one of us is allowed to freak out at a time,” he said, chuckling at his own joke.  “But honestly, seeing you need help makes me stronger.  I want to be there for you and I just can’t leave you alone to suffer.”

            “This is the second time you’ve ‘helped’ me.  I don’t understand why.”  Michael said.

            “Because I can see your pain like no one else can.  I know what it feels like and I know that no one can ‘fix’ it but I can do something to make it hurt less.”  Lukas responded, gently.

            “Well, at least we have that in common,” Michael said.  “Forgive me for saying, but I believe we should base our relationship off something happier than panic attacks or at least not so damning.”

            “Relationship, eh?” Lukas said, smiling.

            “If you try to dump me before we even have a proper date I—“  Lukas was laughing and Michael realized he loved his laugh, it was pure and genuine.  “What is so funny?” Michael looked up at him and was captivated, again, by his smile.

            Lukas put his hands on either side of Michael’s head and said, “come here,” and gently pulled.  Michael got to his hands and knees and crawled up to meet Lukas.  Lukas guided him towards himself and kissed him.  “You’re so cute,” he said and kissed him again.  Lukas slid down underneath Michael and pulled him down on top of him, kissing him and running his hands up his back.  Michael’s kisses were different than last night, they were more gently rather than hungry.

            “I’m sorry, Lukas, so sorry,” he was trembling again, in frustration and fear.

            “Never be sorry for something you cannot prevent.  You didn’t choose this, it happened to you.”  He wrapped his arms around Michael and held him tightly.

            “Lukas, I promise that I will do whatever I can when you need me.” Michael was kissing Lukas as if he was trying to tell him something that words just couldn’t say.  Lukas just gripped him tighter, letting him know that he understood.

            After a few moments of silence, Lukas rolled over, so Michael was laying on the bed in front of him.  He moved his hair out of his face so he could study him.  Lukas wanted to remember every detail of his face, all the lines and colors.

            “I want to see you smile,” Lukas said.

            “What?” Michael said, taken aback.  “I’m pretty sure you’ve seen that, I don’t guard myself as well as you do.”

            “Yes, but I want to see it now.” Lukas responded. “Right now you are so full of worry that your face is drawn.  I want to see you happy.”

            Michael sighed.  “I appreciate what you are trying to do, but I can’t be happy on cue.”

            “I know that.” Lukas said, nudging him.  “So, let me make you happy.”  Michael stared at him, confused.  “Tell me about the moment when you were most happy.”

            “When did you become my therapist?”  Michael asked snidely.

            “I’m serious, I want to know.  I want to know everything about you.”

            Michael looked at Lukas a little skeptically then sighed again, in resignation.  “Honestly?  My happiest moment was last night, right up until I passed out.” He was blushing and Lukas smiled.  “But before that, I guess I would have to say it was when I found out I was being published for the first time.  Tori himself called me and I remember I dropped the phone and I could hear him laughing even from the floor.  I was so beside myself that I thought I was dreaming.”  Michael paused, then said, “No, this won’t work, I don’t know how to do this.”  Michael said, pulling away from Lukas.  “I want to be able to just lay here in your bed, in your arms and be comfortable.  I want to love it, but I’m afraid.”

            Lukas sat up and pulled the covers up, as if he was naked.  “Tell me how you’re feeling, then,” he said, quietly.

            “You wouldn’t understand.” Michael said.

            “Perhaps I will or perhaps not, but how will I ever if you don’t tell me?” Lukas asked.

            “This is not a subject you talk about on the first date and I’m sorry I brought it up, but I thought you deserved honesty.  Now that I’m saying it out loud I feel more like a whiney nancy, than a man trying to tell someone the truth.”  He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.  He was frustrated with himself, this is not how he had wanted this to go.

            “I have a feeling none of this is going according to plan,” Lukas said.  “But as you can see, I’m not kicking you out or running away, so I’m ready for whatever you have to throw at me.”

            Michael turned and looked at Lukas.  “Bearing my soul is not something I do.” He said.

            “Well, you started this so now you have to see it through,” he was nudging him, but he was afraid he would clam up, so he nudged gently.

            “Yeah,” Michael said, turning away from him.  “I would have preferred to have everything I wanted to say written down so I could get it all out without sounding like an idiot, but here goes.  I didn’t have the best time growing up, in fact without Yuuki and my writing I probably wouldn’t be here now.  But moving past that, even now I feel like I’m just there.  I am background.  I am not important to anyone.  I’m not saying I wouldn’t be missed, for a moment, if I were to disappear, but I’m more like a good sweet, you’re sad when it’s gone but you’re not going to cry over it.  I’m not the person you ask about, what my past is like, what my dreams are, what I have planned for my future, I’m just not.  I keep to myself because I’m used to this kind of treatment and I don’t want to get my hopes up.  I want to be cared about, I want someone to ask about me.  I want to be included in things that others are doing.  I want to be asked my opinion and have it matter.  I want to be the person someone can’t live without.  But I know by now that that isn’t going to happen.  I’ve been shown that.  I’ve seen and felt things that make me able to love or be loved impossible.  I’ve never felt close enough to anyone to tell them how I’m truly feeling: when I’m having a suicide day or when I’m thinking of breaking every glass object I own because I’m mad or depressed.  I want someone to ask me how I’m feeling and be able to tell them the truth.  But I can’t, I don’t trust anyone.  They either don’t really care or they run away if I say the truth.  That just adds to the hurt and I can’t handle that.  I’m tired of crying and I’m tired of being left behind.”  He took a deep breath and laid his face in his hands.  “I’m sorry,” he said.  “I’m sorry to lay this all on you.  I don’t know what is going on with me.”  He felt tears fill his hands and didn’t want Lukas to see him like that.

            There was a shift in the bed and he felt warm arms come around him and he looked up and saw that Lukas had draped the blanket over them as he held him, covering him with both his body and the soft down of the comforter.  He was hiding him from the world and that made the tears come faster.  He laid his head on Michael’s shoulder.  “I know.” He said, softly and just held him as the tears kept coming.

            Michael didn’t know how much time had passed when he finally had control over himself.  He had, at some point, laid his hands on top of Lukas’s.  “I’m sorry, Lukas.” He said.

            Lukas squeezed him and said, “I hope that when my time comes to have a breakdown that I’ll do it as gracefully as you.”  Michael looked at him and he had a smile on his face.

            “I deserved that,” he said, smiling back.

            “In all honesty, though, I’m serious.”  He kissed Michael’s shoulder.  “I’m glad you said something.  I’d rather have this than a date full of shallow small talk.  I meant it when I said I want to know you.”

“I’m sorry you have a thing for a broken person.” Michael said.

“You’re bent, not broken,” Lukas said.

“No, I’m broken.”

“Then that makes two of us.” He said, pulling Michael back against him.  “Hopefully our pieces will fit together.”

Michael turned around so he could face Lukas, still draping his arms around him.  “I like the way you think.”  He leaned in and kissed him.  Lukas responded with a “hmmm” and grabbed him and pulled him down onto the bed.  They were caressing anything they could get their hands on, with few exceptions and having a very heated make-out session, when Lukas broke the moment.

“Pizza!” he exclaimed.  “We need pizza and playstation.”

Michael rolled off him and laid down beside him.  He looked down and saw that he had become hard.  He looked over at Lukas and noticed that he, too was aroused.  “Really?”

Lukas reached over and rubbed Michael’s bulge.   “That’s a new experience,” he said to himself.  “As pleased as I am that you are aroused by me, I have no practice with this.  I assume you’ve never been with a man in this way?”  Michael shook his head.  “As I thought.  I haven’t either.  I know you’re embarrassed about last night, but it was probably a blessing.  I’m not even sure which of us would be the top and which would be bottom, or are we switch hitters?  But beyond that, do we have to prepare for entry, so to speak?  And are we even ready to venture there just yet?”

“I’m starting to hate that you’re always right.” Michael said with a sigh.

“You’ll get used to it,” he said and got out of bed.  “What’s your favorite pizza?”

“Whatever you want is fine.” He said.

Lukas stopped on his way to the dresser where his phone was sitting.  He turned and looked at Michael, “Michael.”

“Lukas?”

Lukas walked back to the bed and leaned over him, setting his forehead against Michael’s.  “What is your favorite pizza?” he asked in a sensual voice, which Michael didn’t even believe was real.  He ran a finger down his chest.  “Michael…” he whispered.  Lukas kissed him, biting his lower lip.  “What” kiss “do” kiss “you—“

Michael took a deep breath and grabbed Lukas, pulling him against him and tugging on his shirt, trying to lift it up.  He ran his hot hands up his back and kissed him; his hunger had nothing to do with pizza.  “Meat,” he said, then started laughing.  He fell back onto the bed in a fit of laughter.  Lukas looked down at him smiling.  “If this is the way we decide what we are eating every time we are together, I’m never leaving.  I’d live to be seduced just to know what kind of steak I want.”

Lukas leaned down and kissed him again and said, “I’d live to seduce you over food.  Especially if it makes you laugh.”

“What is your secret?” Michal asked, biting his lip.

“What secret?” Lukas asked.

“How can you turn my dial up to ten and make me laugh, genuinely, at the same time?” he ran his hand through Lukas’s soft hair.

“I just think about what I would like.  You are having a hard time and I want you to feel wanted and at ease.”  Michael looked at him as if he were seeing a totally different person.  “So shall we order that meat pizza from papa’s?” he said and Michael laughed again.

“Sure,” he said.

Lukas made his way to his phone again, dialing the number, as if he knew it by heart.  He was on the phone ordering the pizza and motioned for them to head to his living room.  Michael remembered that room; it was where he had embarrassingly passed out on Lukas.  Their cloth were gone from the floor, his were folded and placed on the table right beside the front door.  The room was bigger than he thought it was, but then again he was very focused on something else.  He looked around; the couch was a wraparound, dark brown, that cut the large room in half.  The floor was wood but had a large tan carpet covering most of it.  There was a TV against the far wall beside the doors to the balcony.  Behind the couch was a wooden desk with a laptop on it and several stacks of papers.  His work station Michael assumed.  He walked over and ran his fingers over the smooth wood; this is where his masterpieces become a reality.  He had framed photographs on the walls of places all around the world, some he recognized some he didn’t. 

Lukas was standing in the kitchen that was adjacent to the living room.  It and the dining room paralleled the living room and at the end of them was the hallway they had just come from.  He was finalizing the details with the man on the phone and smiled while watching Michael take in his home.  Michael turned around towards him just as he was hanging up.

“Pizza’s on its way,” he said.  He went to his dishwasher and pulled out two glasses, filling them half with ice from his freezer and asking, “What do you like to drink?  I have regular iced tea, water, coke, and green tea.”

“Anything is fine,” Michael answered a hard closed refrigerator door was Lukas’s response.  Michael looked up to see a mad Lukas.  He looked at him surprised.

“Michael,” Lukas said coming around the counter and standing in front of him.  “Are we going to go through this every time I ask you what you want?”  He hooked a finger in one of Michael’s belt loops and pulled him against him.

Michael used the momentum to push Lukas back against the counter and kissed him.  “If it gets you to come near me, then I think you know the answer.” He said.

“You played me?” Lukas asked.  Michael nodded.  Lukas bit Michael’s lip in response.  “Well done,” he said with a smile.

“Thank you,” Michael leaned in again and kissed him.  He grabbed the bottom of Lukas’s shirt and pulled it up and off him, leaving him a little surprised.  Michael didn’t give him time to recover instead he leaned down and licked over his collar bone.  He grabbed Lukas’s hips and held him steady as he made his way down his chest.  Lukas let out a small sound of pleasure and grasped Michael’s shoulder, almost cutting his skin with his nails.  Michael nipped at Lukas in answer and Lukas gasped.  He grabbed the back of Michael’s head and pulled him up to him.  Lukas locked lips with Michael, prying open his mouth with his tongue.  He licked Michael’s lips and sought out his tongue.  Michael wrapped his hands around Lukas’s back and pulled him tight against him, feeling his heat.  He slid a hand down and beneath his jeans.  He grasped Lukas’s bare ass in his hand, squeezing the shy muscle under his surprisingly soft skin.  Lukas broke the kiss, looking at Michael he saw the pleasure in his eyes and he wore a naughty smile.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he whispered in Lukas’s ear.  “I’ve never wanted anything more.”  Lukas lifted up the leg that was attached to the side of his butt Michael was grabbing and wrapped it around Michael’s thigh, making the embrace even more intimate.

“Don’t stop,” he whispered, biting Michael’s ear.  Michael growled and grabbed his other leg and lifted it up and around him. He lifted Lukas up more and sat him on the counter with both his legs wrapped around him.  Michael grinded against him and Lukas kissed his neck.

“Mmm—“

“Ding dong!” the doorbell rang.

“Oh! That’ll be the pizza,” Lukas said, pushing Michael back and sliding off the counter.  He bent and grabbed his shirt.  He started walking towards the door when Michael grabbed him, pulling him back.

“I’m not hungry for pizza,” he growled.  He bit Lukas’s shoulder.

Lukas turned and kissed him hard, leaving him breathless then turned back to the door, throwing his shirt back on before opening it.

Michael watched him, he was boiling with desire, desire he had never felt before.  What the hell is happening??  Lukas put the pizza on the coffee table and returned to the kitchen.  He asked Michael what he wanted to drink again.  “Tea, green tea, please.”  He didn’t move when Lukas returned to the living room with two glasses of tea.

“I think we both need to cool off,” Lukas said from the couch.  “Come join me.”  Michael turned around to see him holding a playstation controller up towards him.  He came around and sat down on the couch, taking the controller.

They sat in silence, eating the pizza until Lukas spoke, because Michael didn’t.  “I’m sorry.  I let it go too far.  I just… couldn’t help myself.  This is not me.  I’m normally more in control.”  He paused.  “I don’t know what’s happening here, but don’t think I’m some sort of tease.  I want to do it right.  Whatever it is, this means something to me, already.”  He stopped and looked at Michael.

“I didn’t take you for a tease.” Michael said.  “And I’m just as lost as you are here.  I seemed to have lost my mind completely, all I can think about is touching you.  And yet I want to talk to you and spend time with you.  This has never happened.  I don’t know what to do: do I be a good, rational person or do I go with my instincts?”  Michael flopped back against the couch in frustration.

Lukas followed suite and sat back too.  “Let’s just go with whatever feels right.”

“What feels right?” Michael turned and looked at him.

Lukas held up his controller and said, “Call of Duty, baby,” and Michael laughed.  “Let’s have no expectations, just go with the flow.  And right now it’s too tense in here so let’s shoot some bastards and relieve some of that.  And,” he ran his free hand up Michael’s thigh, “if that doesn’t work, I’m sure we can figure something out.”

“Alright,” Michael said after a moment and grabbed his controller.  Over the next few hours several things were learned.  First, Michael was terrible at first person shooters, at the beginning, but he was a quick learner.  Second, Lukas was surprisingly competitive, even against a newb.  Thirdly, they both hated playing with twelve-year-old punks that sassed off to them when they were losing.  They both used colorful words when this happened.

“Woah! Language!” Michael said, surprised that Mr. Perfect was swearing.

“I’m sorry, did I offend you, Captain?” He asked and Michael couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Wait…” he pretended to clean out his ears, “come again?”

“You heard me,” Lukas said, with a little bit of sass himself and Michael could do nothing but laugh.  “What is so funny?”

“You took me by surprise.” Michael said.

“Oh?  How so?”

“I didn’t take you for a marvel fan.  Or any kind of comic book fan.”

“A man of my age can’t just read Shakespeare, you know?” Lukas said.  “You’ll find that I don’t fit the mold of your average play writer.”

“Yeah?  Well, why don’t you start telling me what you do that breaks the mold?”  Michael said, turning on the couch so he was facing Lukas.

“Clever you are.”  Lukas said and turned towards Michael.  “Alright, where to start?”

“Clearly you’re a Star Wars fan.  Yoda much?” Michael said with a smile.

“Yoda is probably my second or third favorite character from that franchise.” Lukas said.

“So you’re not a dark side fan?  That’s good to know.”
            “I didn’t say that,” Lukas said.

“We’re never going to work,” Michael said jokingly.

“You’re loss.”  Lukas joked back.  “But beyond that, I’m a light comic book fan, I have fallen way behind, but I’ve been busy.  I have read your friend’s book;, he really does think outside the box, I really like how dark it is but deep.  Not you’re normal comic book.”

“He’ll appreciate you saying that.”

“Oh, speaking of Yuuki, does he know?”  Lukas asked, motioning between them with his hand.

“No,” Michael said and Lukas hid disappointment.  “Not that I’m ashamed, I’m not.  I just don’t know if he’ll understand or even how I should approach the subject.  He’s a good guy, but I don’t know.”  He stopped but when Lukas didn’t say anything he continued, “My good friend Ellie knows though, she knows everything, even helped me pick out my outfit for last night.”

“Tell her I say, ‘Thank you for the eye candy.’” Lukas said.

“I wanted to tell him, I did,” Michael said, afraid Lukas was upset with him.

“No, I understand,” Lukas said.  “This is a whole new thing and telling your straight guy friend that you might be swinging for the other team…”

“It’s not that!”  Michael took a deep breath.  “Look, I know this isn’t conventional and I don’t care and neither will he.  It’s just trying to explain why, after all this time, did you, you, capture my attention.  After all the running away and all the failures, why you?”  He took another breath, “And I’m not ready to try to explain to him what’s wrong with me because I’ll have to go back and tell him about everything that’s happened and then I’ll have to tell him that you have it too.  I want to go to him and say, ‘I like him because he makes me happy, because he enjoys blah blah blah.’  You understand?  It’s not my place to air your troubles and I don’t really want to air mine.  I’ve been looking away for so long that looking back would kill me.”  He turned away from Lukas.

“I’m sorry, I wanted to know,” Lukas whispered.  “I shouldn’t have pushed.  I didn’t mean what I said, but I’m glad you told me the truth… It’s refreshing.”  Lukas sat back, ashamed of himself.

“You played me?”  Michael said and when Lukas looked over at him he was smiling.  He was taken aback.  Michael slid closer to him, leaning until he was an inch from him.  “How are you going to make it up to me?” he asked.

Lukas smiled and said, “You really are insatiable.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet.”  Michael stood up and moved in front of Lukas.  Lukas just watched as he straddled him.  Michael settled down on Lukas’s lap and leaned in to kiss him.  “I want to eat you.  Please don’t stop me this time.”

“Not to break the mood, but what if you have another panic—“

Michael put a finger over his lips.  “Shh, that won’t happen, I won’t let it.  I’ll make it through this time, I promise.”  He moved his finger and kissed him again, moving his hands to the bottom of his shirt and pulling it up, only breaking his kiss only to remove it completely.  He bit his bottom lip when Lukas was free of it.

“That lip,” Lukas sighed and took it between his own teeth.  Michael moaned.  Lukas tugged at his shirt and when Michael noticed he yanked it off himself and threw it to the floor.  Lukas looked him up and down and then followed with his fingers, licking the tips and dragging them up from his pants to his chin then around through his hair, grabbing a handful of it.  He pulled it back and as Michael’s neck was exposed, Lukas bit it and Michael groaned.  He made his way down his neck, across his shoulder and down his arm, stopping when he finally reached his fingers.  He put Michael’s thumb in his mouth, and caressed it with his tongue.  Michael could feel his anxiety, but he pushed it away, he wanted Lukas and he wasn’t going to lose the battle this time.

Lukas loosed his hold on Michael’s hair and he took advantage of that.  He took his free hand and slid his fingers under Lukas’s jeans, teasing him for a moment before he unbuttoned them and slid the zipper down.  Lukas stopped his assault on Michael’s fingers and looked down.

“Are you sure…”

“Shhh…” Michael reached under his pants and found what he was looking for.  It was hot and hard.  He pulled open his pants and slid down his boxers a little, exposing him to his eyes.  Michael didn’t look at it long before he grabbed it in his hand and gently rubbed up and down on it.  Lukas moaned and grasped the fabric of the couch next to him.

“Not fair…” he said, out of breath.

“I was afraid of this,” Michael said, still looking down.  “I was afraid I wouldn’t like it, but…” he cut off.

“My turn to eat,” Lukas said, his voice deeper than normal; he was clearly at his limit.  He grabbed Michael’s legs and lifted him up and turned, dropping him onto the couch.  Lukas crawled over him, in between his legs.  He unbuttoned Michael’s pants and pulled them down along with is underwear.  Michael was completely exposed and Lukas was examining him.  He felt his anxiety skyrocket but he kept his breath as even as he could.

“Look at that,” Lukas said.  He leaned down and kissed his hips and Michael could no longer keep his breath from coming fast.  He grasped Michael’s shaft and squeezed, he wasn’t as gentle as Michael had been but Michael didn’t mind.  Michael lifted up a little with his hips, wanting more.  “I see you like that.”  Lukas sat up and pulled Michael’s pants completely off and settled himself between his thighs.  He was resting his cock against Michael’s.  They were both hard and hot, and almost the same size, Lukas being a centimeter shorter.  He rubbed against Michael and, as if he knew what needed done, Michael reached between them and grasped both of them in his hand.  Lukas continued to rock back and forth while he leaned down and kissed Michael.

“Are you okay?” Lukas asked against his lips.

“Yes,” Michael said taking his lips again.

Michael joined in the motion with Lukas.  “This won’t last long,” said a breathless Michael.

“We have been working up to this since last night.” Lukas bit Michael’s lip again and Michael grabbed his hair and conquered his mouth.  When he pulled away they were both out of breath.

“I’m coming…” Michael whispered and Lukas felt a blood vessel in Michael’s cock swell against him and them a heat spread across his and Michael’s chest.  Lukas looked down and saw Michael’s white liquid spilt out of him and that sent shivers up his skin and he soon followed.  He moaned when he ejaculated and Michael kissed him captured the sound in his mouth.

“I told you I’d make it,” Michael said, quietly.  Lukas laughed.  “Though I make no promises about now…”  His vision was starting to blacken and his chest was tight.

“Michael?”  Lukas got up quickly and ran to the kitchen.  Michael heard water running then felt a warm, wet towel ran over his stomach and chest.  Lukas cleaned them both up and laid a blanket over Michael. 

“I’m sorry,” Michael said, trying to sit up.

“Don’t push yourself.” Lukas said.

“I want to be close to you.” Lukas stopped trying to push him back down and sat next to him, pulling him close.  He wrapped one arm around him.

“It’s ok.  I’m here.  Don’t worry about anything.” Lukas said.

“Thank you, Lukas,” Michael said, nuzzling into him.

Lukas ran his hand through his hair and said, “Of course.”

“I hate this,” Michael murmured and a tear slid down his face and landed on Lukas’s shoulder.  Lukas knew how he felt and it took everything he had to keep his anger in check.  He wanted to hurt whoever had hurt Michael.  His rage was genuine but he knew he shouldn’t feel like this already.

“I know,” he whispered.  “You don’t have to fight it.  I’ll take care of you.  I’ll protect you.”

“I want to win…” Michael went quiet and Lukas knew he had lost consciousness.  He remained on the couch the rest of the night.  He held Michael until he woke.